


Left Out

by firecracker189



Series: Little Jake (And His Seriously Awesome Family) [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Caregiver!Charles, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, little!Jake, nsap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 12:55:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14081388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecracker189/pseuds/firecracker189
Summary: When Jake returns from Florida, he feels a little left out from how things are at the Nine Nine.





	Left Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bam4Me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/gifts).



Everything about this new old life disgusted Jake. It ruffled him. Everything was… wrong. Even wronger than it had been when it was more wrong in Florida. Pimento was gone, the gate in the bullpen opened the wrong way, his leg hurt, he could only hobble around, and… _Boyle_ had a son?

 _Boyle,_ **his** Boyle, had a son? Would he ever spend any time with Jake again?

He squashed the ugly punk-ass thoughts down again and kept his mind forward. Not cool brain! Focus on the case. Focus on Boyle in the car, happy to work together, happy to catch a murderer—he heard Boyle’s music choice and it made him smile a little—happy to play ridiculous tunes while they drove. Just like old times. Sort of.

The rest of the night was **_disappointingly_** un-rad and decidedly not very productive. It rankled. But once the sun came up stupid Nikolaj would ruin everything. Take Charles away and ruin the case. Everything about daylight was stupid. Once they’d gone from precinct to precinct and gotten **NOTHING** they went back to the precinct.

Jake had to do everything in his power not to throw a tantrum and completely melt down once Boyle got in the car and drove away. He’d been holding himself together very poorly since he’d left the 99 for Florida. There were a number of reasons Holt had caught him eating burritos in the hot tub and crying. And it wasn’t because he missed Amy. Well, he did miss her, but _that_ wasn’t why he was upset most of the time. His routine was off, his comfort items were back home… everything was wrong. Oh yeah, and a murderer was still after him!

Amy didn’t even know about the fact that he and Boyle had a different kind of friendship. He’d never mentioned it to her, and Boyle helped him hide his stash of supplies at his apartment. Amy wouldn’t ever go in there because she was repulsed by Boyle’s cooking, which, fair enough. But anyway, the point was that Jake was _not_ holding up well without being able to have time alone with Charles.

Then they swapped everyone to the night shift and everything was _more_ awful. He wished he could tell him, but now he had an _actual_ kid to take care of and… then he somehow ended up guilting himself into actually doing something nice for the little traitor by buying him a super cool truck at the toy store and going over there to say hi. It was actually a little cute how fascinated he was with it, plus… he thought Jake was funny which was pretty cool too. And Boyle was happy which was great. All he wanted was to make Boyle happy. They played for a while until Boyle announced that it was bedtime for Nikolaj, and both he and Jake whined in protest.

He didn’t want to leave.

“No, no, no,” Boyle raised a hand and cut off their protests. “It’s bedtime for Jake too, so it’s fair. You’re _both_ going to bed.” Then he gave a firm stare that had Jake absolutely silent, the same unease bubbling up in him that had been churning the entire time he was gone.

Boyle herded Nikolaj into the bedroom and Jake tried his hardest not to cry. He waited in silence, hands on his knees, head down staring at his beat up sneakers, waiting for Boyle to come in and do something else. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he heard the kid’s door click shut. He thought he heard Boyle’s feet but Jake couldn’t be certain, because he was too far in his head. It wasn’t until he felt his hand on his shoulder that he started out of his thoughts.

“Hey.” Charles’ voice was soft as he knelt down in front of Jake and placed his palms on Jake’s knees. “Look at me, buddy.”

Jake’s lip quivered, but he did as asked, not giving in to the pent-up tears he longed to let flow.

“There’s that face,” Boyle’s smile was soft, eyes guilty but nonetheless full of love and concern as he looked Jake over. “Listen, I… I know we haven’t spent much time together since you came back, and I feel awful, I really do. Even if I _did_ have Nikolaj to deal with, I shouldn’t have kicked _you_ to the curb. But I guess I… I just figured you were an adult, and you’d dealt fine on your own without me, so you could handle yourself.”

Boyle’s words stung, and Jake’s eyes filled with tears, Little Jake poking his head out of the tightly locked hiding place Big Jake had slammed him into once he’d gotten back to see he’d clearly been replaced. Charles opened his mouth to speak once again, but Jake cut him off. “Can’t!” he blurted. “Didn’t.” Jake’s face crumpled and the tears came anyway, even when he didn’t want them to. He didn’t want to wake Nikolaj, or to have him come outside to see his hero being such a baby. He forced the sobs to come silently, coming apart right in front of Boyle. Jake couldn’t help it. Boyle made to comfort, to soothe, to say something else, but Jake shook his head and gasped a little as he opened his mouth to justify himself more. “First six months… did awful. Missed you, missed Amy, missed _home!_ ”

The pain in Jake’s voice was evident, the battle for control of his mindset so clearly apparent that it made Charles feel like a complete horse’s ass for abandoning him to suffer like that. In his mind, he’d attempted to justify it by making the argument that his son wouldn’t have a Papa if he didn’t make such an effort. But the little voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him that while Nikolaj now had two parents—a mother to go home to if he couldn’t watch him—Jake only had Charles. _Only_ Charles. And it had been that way for so long now, it was tantamount to abandoning a toddler on the orphanage steps, treating Jake that way. They’d bonded, in both of Jake’s mindsets, and it was wrong of him to have cold-shouldered that sweet little boy. Boyle fought tears of his own as he reached out wordlessly and offered the only thing he could think to at the moment, when Big Jake was so obviously sliding moment by moment—he offered a hug. When Jake crumpled bonelessly into his arms, trusting that Charles would catch him, it was the last straw.

Charles gathered him close and let him cling on desperately. “It’s okay, buddy.” He shushed him. “You don’t need to make excuses to me. _I’m_ the one who made excuses. There are so many things I could have done different, but I didn’t and I hurt you and I’m sorry.” Jake made a pitiful sound against his shoulder and he swayed a little bit, feeling that guilt eat away at him again. “I’m so sorry, buddy. I’m so sorry I hurt you and didn’t give you what I could tell you needed. But we’re together now, and that’s all that matters. Now how about we go get you ready for bed, hmm? Nikolaj won’t wake up, so you can sleep with me.” As he shepherded a clingy Jake into his room, Charles’ heart did another plummet as he thought of poor Little Jake out there in Florida without any of his comfort objects. No blankie, no teddy, no pacifier (they were bad for teeth, but Jake had always been able to make that face and Charles couldn’t deny that face!) and more importantly, no more Mr. Snuggles. That stuffed bunny was Jake’s absolute most precious comfort item. He refused to sleep without it, and he couldn’t imagine how many sleepless nights he’d endured without him when he was in Florida.

Charles pushed Jake gently towards the bed, the subdued younger man perching on the end of the bed, rubbing at his wet eyes as more tears followed. He secretly rejoiced in seeing the tears because it meant not only was Jake purging himself of those negative emotions, but also that Charles would get plenty of cuddles from a sweet little boy. He tugged the large plastic tub from his closet and watched Jake for a reaction as he lifted the lid. “Let’s get some clothes, hmm?” He tugged out Jake’s dinosaur onesie and a pull-up, setting them aside as he pulled out the comfort items. Once he’d gotten everything out, he put the box back and carried the bundle of items over to drop on the bed, rounding to the other side to help get Jake undressed.

Jake’s eyes remained glazed and teary as he let himself be undressed, tears renewing at the sight of the pull-up.

“It’s just a precaution, remember?” Charles made sure to keep his tone even and soft, letting the warmth and affection he felt for Jake show through in his eyes. “You’re always such a good boy about getting to the potty on time, this is just in case you have a bad dream when you’re in bed,” he wheedled a little more, and Jake relented. Charles was ninety-nine percent sure it was just so he could speed up getting dressed because he wanted to cuddle. And he was okay with that. “There we go,” he crooned, zipping Jake into the warm garment and watching as Jake’s tears turned heavier as he hugged his bunny friend. “Yeah, buddy,” Charles said sadly. “I know you missed him. He missed you too.” Charles clipped a pacifier to Jake’s neckline and took the pillows off the bed, flicking on the bedside lamp as he turned off the overhead lights. He picked up the dangling pacifier and offered it to Jake.

Jake sniffled a few times before opening his mouth, sucking at the silicone like it would save his life. He whimpered around the pacifier and Charles made a sympathetic sound. “I _know,_ buddy. I _know_ you’re tired. Here, just crawl in bed, and I’ll go get my jammie jams on.” He pulled the blankets down and watched Jake snuggle into them. “Wait just a second, okay? I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into the bathroom and hurried to change his clothes, making it back to the bed in record time to turn the lamp off and pull Jake close. He rubbed his back soothingly and let Jake cry himself out.

Once the tears had passed, he could tell Jake was fighting sleep, that something else was on his mind. “Don’t worry,” he murmured. “Nikolaj has daycare. He’ll be gone before we wake up. It’s Genevieve’s day to pick him up. She’ll come in and get him ready. They go to breakfast on Thursdays, so he won’t be around until dinner time. You and I can spend all day together before he comes home. And if you still want to spend time with me, I can always tell Genevieve to take him for the rest of the weekend.” Jake finally relaxed at his words and let himself be cuddled, snuggling into his bunny and sighing softly. “Just go to sleep, buddy.” Charles said quietly. “I promise we’ll do better in the future. We’ll get better.” He promised, as Jake drifted off to sleep.


End file.
